PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU ARE EVEN REMOTELY FAMILIAR WITH SCRIPTURE YOU WILL FIND THIS HILARIOUS!
IT COMES FROM A ROMAN CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS
THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN
IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINNESSIS, GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF
ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS
LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT
THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS
SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH
SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES
MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS
THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE
THE SEVENT COMMANDMENT IS THOUS SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY
MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL
THE GREATEST MIRACLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM
DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES
SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES
WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA
WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER
JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION
ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD
JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE
IT WAS A MIRACLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE
THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED JESUS WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS
THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES
ONE OF THE OPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN
ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRIAGE
CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY
IT COMES FROM A ROMAN CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS
THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN
IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINNESSIS, GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF
ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS
LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT
THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS
SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH
SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES
MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS
THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE
THE SEVENT COMMANDMENT IS THOUS SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY
MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL
THE GREATEST MIRACLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM
DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES
SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES
WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA
WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER
JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION
ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD
JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE
IT WAS A MIRACLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE
THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED JESUS WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS
THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES
ONE OF THE OPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN
ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRIAGE
CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY
No comments:
Post a Comment